JUST

It's been 1 year and 7 months, since I left that house; depository of my anxiety,

where I collected every single pieces of my feelings.

It's not easy for me to keep wandering without looking back,

questioning about what had happened actually,

what was wrong,

what God wanted by putting everything on me.

Eyes wide shut, lips are sealed.

I've been keeping them all alone,

pretending that I agree

I am not addicted to the drama

yet, goddamn, I do hate and attracted--in the same time--to the things that'll bring a trauma

Things are working to gravitate me to the inner part of this ground

Since then, I wonder... 

I wonder why

I 

just

...

 Astari, 2018